boards, ambulatory and snow

as you can tell I have been very busy, hence I have not written here in a while.

What's new?

Let's see, I studied a moderate amount, and finally took my veterinary boards last saturday. I had 7.5 hours to take the 360 questions, broken down in to 60 question blocks. One of the questions was actually fake with possible new test questions for next year, but you don't know which. Mark drove me to the test center in Boston. I actually had offered to take the T, but he knew I was nervous and joked that he "wanted to be a part of my becoming a veterinarian" and that he wanted to drive. So we got up at 7:30am, the earliest he had gotten up in a month. He dropped me off and in I went. It was at a Prometric Test Center. I was the only one taking the NAVLE (The National Association of Veterinarians Licensing Exam). There were several students taking the equivalent to be medical doctors, some GRE takers, and mostly insurance or construction licensing exams. I felt rather spoiled since most tests were strict on breaks, etc., but when the proctor read off the NAVLE directions, he informed me I would have 6 blocks of 60 questions with 65 minutes allotted to each. I could leave the room whenever I pleased for breaks. I was given 10 minute breaks between each block and an hour and a half at lunch IF I choose to take them. If I did not take all the test time or break time, it would continually be added to my break time overall. I could look at notes and do as I please whenever i left the test room. I could eat, etc., without any question. Not that looking at notes would help me answer a bloody question when the material covered on this exam spanned all species (even humans, while I am not allowed to treat them I am still expected to know what diseases they get from animals and how it works in their bodies), 3.5 years of veterinary education, and probably some stuff that my educators meant for me to know but never got around to teaching.

Well, it was uneventful. I took three breaks, each for less then 5 minutes. I starred questions I was not positive of the answer in (although only sometimes was I completely clueless) for each block and re-assessed them when done with the section, amounting to an average of 20/60 per block. I finished in 5.5 hours. After, I tended to remember tough questions as most classmates did. Overall, like those I have talked to before, I think I did ok, but it is also a very fair possibility that I failed, which would tend to be just bad luck since I studied adequately and I know I have the knowledge to pass. So I just have to wait until late January for the results.

Ambulatory, the rotation in Connecticut I have been on, is now officially over, and I am so happy. I have spent the last four weeks riding along with large animal clinicians, seeing the occasional pet pig or goat which I love, but more often then not spent freezing cold with multiple layers, outside on a farm with my left arm up a cow's ass up to my shoulder attempting to locate her ovaries to tell what cycle of heat she is in or her uterus and to stage a possible pregnancy. It was satisfying in the third week when my palpation skills were honed in on and I could quickly grasp the repro tract, lift it into my hand's grasp, and find those ovaries or feel the placentomes along the outside of a fetal sac with a baby calf inside. Then in the middle of the third week when I was in 10 degree weather on the top of a windy hill sticking vaccines in 5 month old calves necks and tattoos in their ears, with my vaccine freezing in the syringe if I did not inject it within 15 seconds of drawing it up, the fun was over. I was sick of seeing sick cows with 6 month old foot injuries wasting away, or seeing a cow that could be fixed and having the farmer tell us to stop so he can ship her as beef. The other shitty part is the rotation has a reputation of being one of the easier ones, one where you get weekends off (true) and you tend to get to go home before 4pm. Sadly, this was not the case for me, and of course the clinicians couldn't stop talking about it. They kept commenting on how abnormally busy for this time of year it was, and only twice in 4 weeks did I finished before 6pm, and since it was a 2 hours commute for me I was not home until after 8pm almost every night, which made me very bitter.

Luckily I am all done with rotation officially today. The clinicians kept joking about how great the snow would be and i kept getting pissed since I did not want to drive home 2 hours in a snowstorm (1 hour of driving for most of my classmates). Then yesterday evening before leaving the doctors told us that plans were changed. They rearranged the schedule for the day and figured out ways to make sure all of us were done by noon. I asked the director why and he told me that 7 years ago a senior student was driving home in a snow storm when she crashed and she is now a paraplegic. Since then they don't take risks. This morning I met Dr. White in Walpole at the Norfolk Agricultural School for calf vaccinations from 7-9am and my day was done. Now I get to enjoy the snow from my house and make chili and chowder for my annual Xmas gifts.

the first holidays of the year

I broke my tradition this year... instead of a vegan thanksgiving at my place, my family left for Scotland, and I spent the day with Mark's family in Andover. It was nice, but very different then what I am used to. Mark's mom loves everything PERFECT. The china dishware, the pre-sliced everything, it must look perfect. And she loves to spoil her children, which is probably the only thing about Mark's family that irks me from time to time, but I need to suck it up and deal with things that are not how I would do it. My mother gave me a nice little lecture about being a control freak in certain situations. She is so right, but it is funny, in some situations I can be irrational and weird about controlling things, yet other situations I am completely comfortable to sit back and let them happen as they might. I missed being in charge and cooking all the food myself, but I made some delicious eggplant boats (which no one else ate since Mark;s mom made enough food for 12 even though there was only 6 of us). I also made a chocolate banana pie, which was too banana-y at first, but with time really grew on me, and I loved it. Mark's mom also made me tofurky and there was a sweet potatoe dish and stuffed mushrooms that were vegan. It was very sweet of her.

I spent most of the non eating time talking with Mark's mom and his sister Jackie. Mark and his little brother (my age I think) and his dad spent their time drinking beer watching TV...so cliche.

The night before Thanksgiving was, well, kind of a shit show. I went out with Mark, his friend Josh, and his sister Jackie. We got WAY too drunk. I don't remember parts of the night. It is all a blur. And we all woke up with roaring hangovers. Not doing that again for awhile, but at least it was the first time I have done it since June I think.

I have spent most of the rest of my four day weekend studying for boards here and there. People keep telling me not to worry, and amazingly I am not worried (I take it in two weeks) but I will feel guilty if I am totally lazy and then don't do well, so I am going to study a moderate amount and then feel confident i will pass, which is all that matters.

I am on ambulatory now, good hours 8-5, but it is a two hour commute for me, so my days are still sickeningly long. But once I get through this rotation I am basically done! It is all elective time, except for my three week pathology rotation, which is known as the easiest rotation we have. And the more I ride around with dairy vets and visit farm after farm, and see the conditions, I am so fucking glad I am vegan.

thanksgiving dilemma

Thank goodness my large animal medicine rotation is almost over. It has been rough. Plus I am dog sitting for Ryan all week while he is in Cali and I have not been home during daylight hours once in the last week. Ryan's dogs are very well behaved and nice, but my goodness, I never realized how much I hate living with dogs due to all the hair! I am SUCH a clean freak and I can barely handle all the cleaning I have to do! It doesn't help that Ryan NEVER cleans, but I am cleaning the futon cover and blankets twice a week, sweeping and vacuuming every third day, etc., and I can barely keep up. I just find dog hair gross and can't handle sitting on a futon with dog hair on it. I think if I have dogs they will either have to be small and not shed much or trained to stay off furniture (probably the first one there).

So my family is traveling to Scotland (without me of course since I am on clinics) for Thanksgiving. I used to hate thanksgiving since it is aka Turkey day, and centers around a slaughtered dead bird in the middle of a table. Except for the past three years I have hosted an all vegan thanksgiving for family and friends, and it has been a HUGE hit. This year, with my family traveling, I am not sure what to do. Of course, I have been invited enthusiastically to Mark's family's house. I was actually over at Mark's parents house twice in the last week for dinner and his mom keeps talking about all the great dishes she is making that I will love on thanksgiving even though I never officially said I was coming.

My dilemma...I love Mark's family. Seriously. If I refer to all boyfriend's families as the in laws, I have to say that Mark's in laws are the first family I really get along with and feel completely comfortable with. I used to dread seeing Shawn's family and would try to come up with excuses as to why I couldn't visit them, and Zach's mom threatened to kill me in high school for dating her son, and Brian's parents were pot heads...not too many amazing in laws there. But when Mark asks me if I want to go to dinner at his parents house I am actually sad if I am busy and can't go. So of course I don't want to disappoint them an not show for thanksgiving. Plus Mark's older brother is vegetarian so they are quite good at cooking vegan dishes. But I hate supporting a holiday with a dead bird in the middle of the table. It makes me sick to my stomach. I am sure Mark's mom would cook a ton of vegan things, and she wouldn't care if I brought my own tofurky and vegan mashed potatoes and gravy (although I am sure Mark, his dad, and his brother would make fun of me for it). Still, there is something about participating in a holiday I have kind of protested by hosting cruelty free for three years now. I think of Thanksgiving as MY holiday. I am sure if Mark and I were living together I would ask both my and his family if I could host the holiday and have people over for the vegan feast. But right now I need some advice: should I go to thanksgiving and suck it up with mark's family, bringing my own meal, or should I stay home and relax, or even work at school and make $10 an hour in the radiology department, not supporting the killing of millions of innocent turkeys?

P.S. I got my hair cut and it looks amazing.

on the mend

wow, last week almost killed me...seriously...
it all started halloween night. I was driving home from work and got a horrible migraine. I ended up at mark's trying to sleep at 6pm, but I was in such pain, and got a fever. I took a shower, but ended up nearly passing out and just curled up on the floor of the shower until Mark came to help me out. It was pathetic. I didn't want to dissappoint mark, so we went to a halloween party with jeanne-marie, but I only made it about an hour before I started changing colors.

Saturday I still felt like shit, and Mark again had to help me from the floor of my shower this time as I nearly collapsed. I was having hot and cold flashes, fever, and nausea. I slept all afternoon. Once I woke up I felt better, and made the terrible mistake of trying to go to the boston vegetarian food festival with Mark. It was fun, we only made it for the last 30 minutes. But then Mark wanted to walk around Back Bay, so I said I would give it a try. I was in the apple store with him when I started turning green again. I nearly passed out, and Mark and I made it home in time for me to curl up moaning in bed.

Sunday I slept most of the day yet again, only getting some of my errands done. But Sunday night was when the horrible diarrhea started.

Monday started my large animal medicine rotation, which is a bitch. I felt better every morning, but after 4 hours of wrestling horses and running around like a maniac, I would ache all over and want to die. My fever throughout the week kept coming and going, and Monday I developed a horrible cough. The doctors at school let me leave early at 3pm on Monday when I turned green and ran out to vomit during rounds.

This illness continued...every morning I felt better, but by noon I felt horrible, and by 8pm when I got home every night I had a fever over 101 and disgusting, profuse, watery diarrhea.

Finally Saturday I broke down. I just started crying to Iva at school that I couldn't keep going and that I had not consumed more then 600 calories a day once and the diarrhea was uncontrollable and I wanted to die...blah blah blah...I convinced the doctors at school to let me go to the ER.

Good thing I did. My electrolytes were screwed up, I was dehydrated and need IV fluids and electrolyte supplements and anti-diarrheal meds, plus little did I know I had rip roaring pneumonia. I guess my lungs looked like shit all over but in my lower left lung lobe they were starting to condense and almost form an abscess in my lungs. Boy, I am SO glad I went to the hospital. And I got a two days doctors note to stay home from school.

Now, after two days of rest and medications, I finally, for the first time in 10 days, do not ache all over. I am so glad I got the time off, hopefully it doesn't effect my grade, but man, this rotation nearly killed me earlier this week!

philadelphia and the end of an all too short vacation

Last week was my first vacation since I started clinics, and I still can't believe it is over already. It was fun, I guess. I had a doctor's appointment and spent much of the first 4 days getting paperwork, etc. done, working on research projects, studying for boards, etc. Luckily Mark and I did take a mini vacation. He took Friday off from work, and we left for Philly a little after 7am on Friday. We got to the zoo, our first stop, at around 1:30. It was a fun zoo, and althoguh expensive, I think it was worth the 3 hours visit.

Then we went downtown and checked in to our hotel. I had bid for a $100 room on priceline in downtown, and was surprised I got it at the Crowne Plaza. The hotel normally goes for $200-240 a night. Plus it was literally three blocks down from city hall, on the exact road with a great view too! We relaxed a bit before heading out for dinner at 8ish. We found lots of great places, but all with lines, so we ended up at the marathon grill where I got a delicious mushroom and eggplant sandwich. Then we went in search of a club to dance, which was also an experience. We found a place with cheap, good beer and no cover. There were an ok amount of people, but the DJ was not that great, and then to top it off hardly anyone was dancing, and those who were were so awkward. Mark suddenly pointed out "this city is full of black people, but did you notice there are NO black people here, and that no one can dance?" He was right, and I think that might of been contributing to the deficiency in decent dancing. We called it a night around 1am.

Mark was shocked (and pleased I think) that I slept in the next morning. Of course when I woke up at 10am I started panicking and acting like the world was ending since we had not gotten up yet, which also made Mark amused. We finally got going at noon and got some lunch. Sadly it was a yucky, cold, and rainy day. We did as much sight seeing as we could, checking out city hall, independence hall, the constitution center, reading market, etc. while we were cold and wet. We finished around 4pm and hit the road back home. It was a short and sweet trip. I was glad I did it since I have not seen Philly since I was 4. And I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear when we were driving home discussing how great the short trip was and Mark asks me "So what city is next?" I say London.

Sadly we did not get home until around midnight, and I had to get up at 6am to go in to school for an elective day of surgery at a feral cat clinic. I had a great time though, I did 3 cat neuters and 2 cat spays in 5 hours, more then doubling my surgical experience thus far.

target

I believe I am like many women in this matter, but target seems to be my weakness. I don't think I can go to the store and NOT buy something. Even if I go to find something else, if it is not there, I always spot something I don't particularly need that I want to buy. And do you ever get the surveys on the receipts that enter you to win $5000 shopping spree at the store? I swear, I have filled out dozens, and I keep clinging to this hope that one day I will win it.

irony...

This just makes me laugh a bit...this week is my vacation week. Here is how it goes:
Granted, Monday started like a vacation should, being that I slept in late with Mark, then we went to lunch and then he left for work at 1pm and my day started. I began downloading all the internship applications, wrote my letter of intent, wrote more emails to professors, wrote a letter with Ryan to our landlords, and worked on that application process most of the day.

Yesterday I got up at 6am. I walked to the T at 7:30, caught the train to grafton at 8:30, and got to school at 10am. I had an appointment with Dr. Rush to talk about cardiology residencies at 10:30. Then I met with Dr. Jakowski to go over the biopsy viewer software on campus, and then proceeded to look up and compile a list of every ferret biopsy that has come back positive for lymphoma since 1994 (I scanned about 480 records to make this list of 90 animals). I then went to the wildlife clinic and helped out with medical procedures until 2pm for fun and then caught the train back home, getting home at 5pm, having to meet with our landlords after that (only to have them reschedule for today), and read my book for 3 hours before bed.

Today Ryan woke up at 6am, and being a light morning sleeper I woke up then too. I went to the Tufts Medford gym, did an hour on the elliptical. Came back home, cleaned the entire apartment and did the dishes. I took out the trash and recycling. I baked Pumpkin bread for dinner with Mark tonight. I went shopping at target and got some stuff for the apartment and I stopped off at shaws and deposited our 30+ bottles from our party that were still in the kitchen. I stopped at the post office to buy stamps and mail some thank you letters. Heather called and we worked A LOT on revising my letter of intent. I continued emailing profs stuff they needed for my letters of recommendations, and revised my letter further after Dr. Cotter reviewed it. I completed my application sheets for all 7 internship positions I am applying for. I wrote stamped envelopes for all 7 places, 3 copies each, one for each of the people who are writing me recommendations. I printed and reviewed 4 pages on spaying cats and dogs for my upcoming spay elective. I spent 2 hours on vetprep.com doing practice board exam questions. In 20 minutes I leave to meet christina for a drink, then coming back at 6pm to meet the landlords and start cooking dinner, and then at 8pm I am going to mark's with dinner all made for us (apple, sweet potatoe and butternut squash soup with pumpkin bread).

So what makes me laugh through all of this? Ryan came home from work at 1:30pm, took a 2 hour nap on the futon. He then got up to go back to work for a 30 minute fitting, which he should be home from by 5pm. He walked by my bedroom before leaving again while I was on vetprep.com, and says "See you, I hope you keep enjoying your lazy day off!"

feeling a little less blue...

I was starting to feel quite down on myself yesterday, with australia conflict, etc. Plus I got my class rank. I have a 3.15 GPA, with a rank of 57/77. Not very good. But today Dr. Rush made me feel better when he was glad I sent my clinical rotations GPA too (3.75) because that says a lot. And Dr. Cotter was impressed with my organizational skills and tackling all of these applications so early. Plus on the NCState website it said that their competitive internship program only accepts "strong academic records (>3.0/4.0), which manes I still make that classification! And thanks to Heather's help I am feeling much more confident about my letter of intent! : )

I hate big decisions, and this is quite a predicament

Decisions decisions, should I go to australia and possibly decrease my shots at a great career in cardiology, or should I cancel, stay home, and always wonder what if I had gone.

OK, so I planned a trip to Australia for 6 weeks my first year in vet school. I have been planning it for ages, but things keep making it seem difficult. First of all, I was strung along by an organization at school and led to believe I would easily land this $12,000 scholarship for women, only to later find out that only 1/11 women applying get it. I was planning on that $ to off set the cost to australia, but now that it is not there I need to foot the bill for a $4000 trip. That is doable, but hard, making me more poor then usual and unable to splurge at all from Dec. to Feb.

Then there is the issue with my cat, my car, etc. All of which are annoying hassles, but can be arranged.

Then there is planning the trip itself. My cousin is supposed to go with me for the first 2 weeks of vacation, then I am on my own for 4 weeks at the wildlife sanctuary. Evan asked me to plan all the stuff, from hostels to trains to ferries, etc. which is quite a burden, and I am only about 1/3 of the way done with it, and the trip is less then two months away.

Then there is scheduling everything else I need to do with my limited free time, like seeing family, friends, taking boards exams, which can all be arranged, just another hassle.

There is the stress that my return flight gets delayed and I am late for my last core rotation...something I should not have to worry about but I do cause I have seen it happen to classmates, and your grade is definitely affected if something like that happens.

Arranging with all my credit card companies, etc., for online payments and notifying them that I will be in australia.

Being away from my boyfriend for 6 weeks, doable, but again, not something I look forward to.

Ok, all no big deal, all things I can handle and force myself not to think about and to say "It will all be ok once I am in australia and am enjoying myself there".

Then my email today.

Many of you know I am in the process of applying to internships. I ahve changed my mind since starting vet school. I have realized that as much as I enjoy zoo and wildlife medicine, I have almost no chance of landing a career in it. However, I have also found I LOVE cardiology, and after speaking with Dr. Rush today about it, he thinks while it is very competitive, with the right letters of recommendations and possibly another cardiology related publication (with his help in the spring) I have a decent shot at one of those residencies. Of course, the internships I am applying for I picked ones that have cardio residencies. And today I find out that the normal three week window to either phone interview or in person interview are smack in the middle of my trip to Australia. Basically, by sacrificing them, I still have a chance at an internship, but much less of a chance at the ones I want. I would probably be sacrificing a chance at angell since they want an in person interview from tufts students. And I might be sacrificing other internships since I might not be able to arrange a phone interview easily either.

So the predicament, do I spend $4000 and possibly sacrifice a better shot at a career in cardiology? Or do I say fuck it and go anyways to enjoy the field that I have already realized I don't have a shot at anymore?

I am so not sure...both Heather and my mom had good advice, and I was a little shocked that my mom actually leaned towards not going, but I still need to wait and see. I will wait and see if these internships I just wrote to today get back to me soon and if I can arrange interviews in the week before I leave fir Australia.

another week of wildlife and another 26.2 mile race under my belt

This past week I spent on a wildlife elective on the Grafton campus, and as expected I absolutely LOVED it. Everyone was so glad to have me back in the clinic. I finally met Erica, the new wildlife intern. I volunteered for two on call shifts (so I crashed at friend's places in grafton those nights) and only got called in once for a sad euthanasia of a gull with two broken wings. A ton of people there asked me if I would apply for the internship at the wildlife clinic there, and while that is a dream of mine, I explained no cause they traditionally don't take tufts alumni and since it would be better for me to branch out. A ton of people (including erica and the wildlife technician Karen) told me I should still apply for the wildlife internship at Tufts since if they were going to make an exception for a tufts alumni it would be me, and Erica said taht she had not even met me yet but I already had a reputation and she had heard a lot about me from others about how I was such a great student. I was flattered, but I still don't think I will apply for that internship.

Speaking of internships, I officially opened my account today for my internship applications. I have asked for three letters from various professors, two already happily accepted, one I have not heard back from yet but I just wrote her today. I have changed my ranking since I first made it a week ago, I am including more internships at universities since I have heard that an academic internship increases your chances of a residency so applying to more veterinary schools will increase my chances at a cardiology residency. I am meeting with Dr. Rush tomorrow too (which I am quite nervous about) to talk about cardio residencies (he was excited that I was interested in cardio).

Yesterday I ran my fifth marathon. I ran the Baystate marathon in Lowell. I hate saying this, but it was my worst race yet. Not my worst time, actually it was my second best time, but I was severely disappointed in my time and I didn't really enjoy the race.

Mark got up early with me and drove me to the start. It was cold, and I am grateful Mark convinced me to wear my jacket. I wore shorts though, which might of been a bad choice. I had checked the weather friday night and it said it would be in the 50-60 range for the day, chilly, but good and easy running weather, the type of temp you should warm up nicely in. Boy was I wrong. It was freezing. I started pacing behind these lean younger women thinking they were running the marathon, but then at mile 3 they split off from me on to the half marathon course and I continued on the marathon course.

I had started out behind the 3:40 pace setter, thinking I was at a good steady pace for me. It was cold and windy, and my legs ached from the cold. I kept waiting for them to warm up, but they didn't. Somewhere around mile 8 I was suddenly passed by the 3:40 pace setter, which was not a good sign. I had thought I started behind him, but I must of passed him and was running at a pace faster them him for the beginning (not good, I am not that fast).

However, I was keeping my pace, even though it was not that enjoyable of a race. There were only handfuls of 15-10 spectators every 2 miles at the water stops, as opposed to Boston's thousands along the course. In between water stops I was lonely and bored. And my legs continued to ache. I hit mile 20 and was hurting, but was shocked by my time...I was at 3:01, an awesome pace that if I had kept up I would finish under 4 hours (my goal). And then I fell apart. I had been hurting a lot before taht point, but had pushed through it. Suddenly, my knees (esp. the right) really hurt. Everytime I pushed my pace my right knee had an excruciating sharp pain that brought tears to my eyes and made me limp. For the first marathon in the last 3, I had to walk. I called Mark at mile 22 to tell him I was going to be later then expected at the finish. I felt really bad.

So I chugged along to the finish, and walked a total of .6 miles (.2 mile intervals three times from mile 22 to the end). My pace slowed, and I finished in what I felt was a pathetic 4:17. I have been so used to finishing quicker every race this one was so disappointing for me, but I had to remind myself that all runners have bad races and get hurt at some point, so I just need to try harder for the next race.
And I guess all in all it was not that bad of a time.
So far my races are:
1. Adirondack Marathon, Sept. 2006. Finishing time: 5:10
2. Boston Marathon, April 2007. Finishing time: 4:36
3. Mohawk Hudson Marathon, Oct. 2007. Finishing time: 4:28
4. Boston Marathon, April 2008. Finishing time: 4:09
5. Baystate Marathon, Oct. 2008. Finishing time: 4:17

coffee or gum

I successfully put my foot in my mouth at dinner with Mark's friends on Friday night. I was talking about the internship at Angell and how you work 6 days a week for 14 hour shifts. Somehow the fact that I don't drink coffee came up, and I told them all a story about Angell and how 90% of the interns and residents chew gum ALL the time, and I think it is SO unprofessional. I started going off about how stupid doctors look while they take a history from owners and chomp like a cow chewing cud in between answers, but I figured out that the interns at Angell must do it since it probably helps them stay awake. After I got done with my grotesque acting out of obnoxious chewing gum Josh's girlfriend said "Yeah, I chew gum all day at my job". (she is a teacher). Open mouth, insert foot.

But Mark thinks I need to learn how to like coffee. So when we were at the mall on Sunday we stopped at starbucks and I got a soy milk pumpkin latte with no whip cream...I have to say, it was quite good, only a slight after taste of coffee from the espressos, and now I am craving another!

housewarming in Medford

I am really settling in to this new place, and I love it (granted I also haven't had to drive back to Tufts for rotations yet, but we'll see how that goes this week).
I think if any fourth year vet student wanted to move out here to be closer to Boston, I was a great one to do it. I think unlike many of my classmates I will actually take advantage of being so close to the city. And hanging out with my boyfriend multiple times a week is so nice as well.

Friday night Mark and I went to dinner at this mediterranian restaurant next to his apartment. I dressed up a lot in this new dress I recently got for myself, and we randomly ran in to his co-worker Josh and his girlfriend Miriam. We joined them for dinner, which was pretty tasty but a little too pricey (I had a polenta, portabella, eggplant, and squash tower in a sweet sauce).

Saturday was party day. After sleeping in until 11am (still not sure if Mark is a good or a bad influence on me, but I do think I need to sleep in from time to time so I will say good) I bought booze and cleaned the house. I think the only hard part of my current living situation is as much as I love dogs, I hate dog hair and dirtiness...I have been sweeping and vacuuming the place 2-3 times a week and can barely keep up with the dog hair everywhere.

People started arriving at 7ish. Of course, the big party mistake we made was the red sox were in the play offs, and we don't have cable. I didn't care too much, but Ryan was obviously very hurt when about a dozen of his friends arrived at 7:30 and then left at 9pm to go watch the sox somewhere in Boston.

The party was def. smaller then anticipated, we had over 30 yes replies, but probably only saw 20 people, and a ton left for the sox, but I still had an awesome time. Ryan's friend Jeremy came up from NYC for the party, and he is so much fun. People wanted to play guitar hero a bunch, which I always enjoy (and kick ass at).

Things came to a halt around 1am. And clean up on Sunday didn't take that long either. Sunday was a super lazy day, went to the mall and laid around doing practically nothing all day, but everyone needs a day like that.

Tomorrow I go back to Grafton for a week elective in Wildlife, yippee!!!

neuro at angell

I expected my last week at angell,on neurology, to be my least favorite since I didn't like the speciality that much at Tufts. Luckily, so far, it has been my favorite. It has just been me and the resident since the two neurologists are on vacation, and no other interns or externs are on with us. So I have been doing and seeing A LOT. And right off the bat the doctor started jokingly referring to me as his padwan learner. I have done overall well, not known all the answers, but made some suggestions that the doctor hadn't thought of that helped. After 3 weeks at angell I finally feel like I am starting to understabd how things work and how to stay afloat, and of course now my time is up and I need to move on. I will be glad to be back at Tufts, but I wish I could of spent more time at Angell getting to know how things work. Maybe that time will come next year if I end up there on an internship.

new crib

I know this blog is way overdue, but I have not had internet for the last week! Last weekend Ryan and I moved in to the new place in Medford. It was quite an experience. We got everything done in two trips. The first night there i stayed in and unpacked all my stuff, which only lead to a little tension between ryan and I since he went out drinking and felt a little left out in the move in when he got home the next day.
But things worked out, and the place looks great!
Sunday night was the ratatat concert, Mark agreed to go with me since I had no friends who like ratatat available to go...and it was so much fun. We ran in to Tony and Jill there. And even though Mark is not a big fan of ratatat, we still had a blast on the dance floor.
I've been at Angell the last two weeks on elective, and it has been a little rough. I hate to admit it, but I am having second thoughts about an internship there. I love the area, the name has such reputation, and they say you can handle anything after an angell internship, but you work 16 hour shifts, 6 days a week, and only get one week vacation in the entire 54 week program. I still have not decided what to do, but I will probably have a better idea in a couple weeks. I will apply there, but am not sure where to rank it yet...I keep vasilating between wanting to go there since it has such a rep, and wanting to have a life and not work 80+ hours a week.
I have been able to take the T in to work a couple times last week though, that was nice.
And my mom came to visit yesterday, Mark finally met her, as well as Ryan, and that was quite an interesting afternoon, but I guess it all went well. My mom really doesn't have any inhibitions though.
Well, back to the apartment now, but I just want to comment on one other thing: I swear I have the most amazing boyfriend ever. : )

the end of my ER rotation...

I will miss it a lot, but luckily I am doing two weeks of elective there in March. The last weekend was crazy! I was on 3-2 all week, except tonight I was on 12-10 so I could get some sleep before catching the train to Boston in the morning.

On Friday we had so many dogs come in hit by car, we ended up doing CPR on 6 dogs in one night (only one came back, but that is pretty standard odds). At one point THREE hit by cars came in within 10 minutes, two were getting CPR on different gurneys, and one was with me, very very sick, (her owners decided to euthanize in the end).

After midnight the ER tends to slow down a lot, with only about 1-2 cases an hour (the usual is 4+ cases an hour), so things get a little loopy after midnight. The last couple days were SO silly. Russell was in charge of the MP3 player and was rocking it out playing air drums, next thing I know we start our own little kareoke night with the ultrasound probe serving as our microphone, singing anything from Elvis to Britney spears, my stomach hurt from laughing so much. The jokes get MUCH more raunchy. Russell was walking around aimlessly for a while when Dr. Skovira asked him what he was doing, and he just said "conveniently crop-dusting in front of all the dog's cages". I couldn't stop laughing.

Then Travis came back from the ER conference he was at all week tonight. It is interesting when you find someone that you work well with perfectly. Travis and I just click when on clinics together, and we are the perfect pair. I took all his cases tonight, (he actually kept seeking me out to make sure I was the student on his cases). And like always we just rocked them. It's neat when you find someone that you are totally in sync with at work and the two of you can just keep trucking along, always one step ahead of the other and picking up mistakes done by the other so things work out great.

I have learned a lot in the last 3 weeks. I learned I should have more confidence in myself then I did too. And one of the neat things I learned was about client communication. In addition to learning all about medical things on ER (and belive me, the doctors at Tufts are brilliant, so they taught us lots), you get to observe the doctors in the exam rooms talking to clients about tough things. I have learned a lot about client communication that way, and know how I want to talk with clients. I respect all the doctors at Tufts, but I have noticed some are better at talking to owners then others. The best bring it down to such understandable terms and make sure to NEVER treat an owner like crap. It is kind of true that if you are good at communicating you can convince a client to do anything. Well, some of the doctors are not so good, and I was bothered that one did not even mention euthanasia on a dying dog, just came in with a $2000 estimate for owners whom she knew had little money. I felt euthanasia was a GOOD option in this dog since it had a POOR prognosis, but if the owners had lots of $ and wanted to try they could easily shell out $5000 in treatment to try to save the dog, but the chances of saving her even then were probably only 30%. I was pissed that this doctor did not tell the owners that you should euthanize if you do not want to pursue treatment. She just went in the room and told them your dog is really sick with this and needs $5000 of treatment, and when the owners started crying and said they didn't have that money, she said "well, I will leave you to think about things, and come back when you make a decision." She made them tell the doctor that they wanted to euthanize on their own, which bothered me, since it was so hard for them, I think she made them feel guilty, whereas I would of told them straight up front that euthanasia was not a bad option for their dog.

Another doctor seemed to get defensive with owners and talked down to them. The owners would get mad back and not want to pursue treatment since she did not give them options and did a poor job explaining why their pet was so sick.

But several of the other doctors were GREAT. They were compassionate, kind, smart, articulate, and explained things and ALL the options SO well. They never made an owner feel guilty for their decisions, and I think they never had to cause they did such a good job explaining the options to owners and helping them make the right decision. It is so easy to judge owners, but I truly feel they all have different situations going on in their lives, so it is not fair to tell them they are wrong if they make a decision that I wouldn't of for my pets. I hope I can communicate well with clients like these doctors in the future.

what do you think?

Who would of thought that those 4 words could mean so much... "What do you think?" I tell you, I love ER for many reasons, but most importantly because for the first time ever I am feeling confident in my skills as a doctor and think I will be ready to take on vet med in 8 months. I have been showered with compliments on ER and all the doctors tell me in private how they try to work with me first since I am such a great and efficient student to work with. I have kind of become the exotics go to girl on ER, so when a exotic animal comes in the doctors consult me first. Last night a guinea pig came in with bumble foot, and Russell let me manage the case COMPLETELY on my own, I wrote up everything, handled everything, and Russell let me since he felt I knew a lot more then him about guinea pigs.

Then today I was working with Dr. Abelson (whom I absolutely adore and think is one of the BEST vets I have ever met, I want to be just like her some day)...she came and found me and asked me to work on a case that she had, a recheck on a dog with ITP. I went out to the owner's and did EVERYTHING, the physical, the blood draw, the blood smear and analysis under the microscope, the history from the owner's. And I kept waiting for Dr. Abelson to check over my shoulder and see how I was doing. When all was done I found her and brought all my results to her. She asked "What do you think?" and I told her, and afterwards she said great, checked my discharges, and sent the dog home with my medical advise and instructions. I suddenly realized that she was not going to check my work (although she did check my blood smear b.c I asked her to and she told me I knew what I was doing and not to worry). I realized that she asked me "What do you think?" not to grill me, put me on the spot, or to test my knowledge. She asked me "What do you think?" because she respected and valued my opinion, and then fulfilled that by treating me like a doctor and letting the patient go home with my medical orders. It was quite an amazing moment for me. And throughout the rest of the night Dr. Ableson continued to ask me to do things for patients I never have done before, and she always trusted my opinion (but should would double check me whenever I asked cause I was nervous).

I couldn't be happier right now, it is so comforting knowing I made the right (and fulfilling) career choice, and that I am not going to be a horrible doctor. Sure, I will make mistakes, we all will, but it will be ok. I think I can do this.

she's on fire!!!!

Why am I writing a blog at 3am do you ask? cause I just got home from school, and I am not angry or bitter at all, in fact, I love it. I have been on ER for two weeks now, and am working very odd hours, normally starting between 12-3pm, and ending between 11pm-3am. But it is SO fast paced and rewarding. I feel like I am saving lives every day. And lately I am on fire! I am rocking with my skills. I feel like no matter how nervous or hesitant I am, when the doctors ask me what I think is wrong with patients and what I want to do with them, I say what I am thinking, and they tell me I am right on the money and that is exactly what they would do.

We got slammed yesterday. Between 7-9pm 18 patients came in through the ER. It was the perfect situation for stress and chaos. Luckily, the owners were all understanding and patient. They had to wait ages, some of them over 5 hours. Yet they all talked in the lobby with each other, and got along. They even ordered pizza for themselves, it was like a pizza party in the front lobby, plus they ordered some pizzas for us in the back thanking us for our hard work. I was supposed to be on from 1-10pm, but I didn't leave until 1:30am, but it was ok, I was not upset about it at all, I loved it! I was on 3pm-2am today, and again felt like I could do no wrong. I am pairing up with the clinicians well, Dr. Lanaux and I are rock stars, and Dr. Abelson is one of the best teachers I have had on clinics yet. She loves to grill students in a nice way, and so far I have hit all her questions on the dot. I am just hoping this is not hubris on my part. I am still nervous and not cocky, but I am gaining confidence in my skills as a doctor every day.

183 Spring St., Medford, MA

Wow. I am scared shitless right now but excited too. I am moving to "Boston". Not really, Medford actually, but closer then ever, I can't believe I finally did it.

The story? Ryan contacted me about a week ago saying he wanted to move to Boston now (funny since I was practically begging him to this summer when he was first promoted to the Boston position). I had kind of forgotten about my dream to move closer to the city and accepted the fact that I would be in Grafton just one more year, but then when Ryan contacted me about it again, I told him I would consider it and if we found somewhere for Oct. 1 I would probably do it, but after that it would be a no go. The last week has been a rollercoaster of emotions (good ones) since I felt like every place we looked at it was Ryan and I switching places with who wanted to move, mainly me more then him.
Then on Sunday Ryan looked at a place in Medford and fell in love with it...he told me to set up a time to see it Monday night after work and if I wanted it we would take it.

So after my ER shift Monday I made it to Medford at 8pm to see the place. It was in a nice neighborhood, had a yard and front and back porch. The inside was nice, there is a huge mirror on the front wall of the living room which is a little creepy, but I could deal with it. The bedrooms were a little smaller then I would like, but the kitchen was huge and nice. It is a 1.2 mile walk to the subway. I wanted closer then that, and was instantly torn. Ryan started bombarding me with texts that we needed to take it, since it would be gone quick. My gut kept telling me that I wanted to wait and find a place closer to Boston, but then it came out that Ryan had to sign his current lease at his place in Grafton the next day or he would be out of it, so it was this place or nothing...I had a hard time sleeping, but finally decided that this was my last opportunity to move closer to Boston before graduating, and quite frankly I might not even be there after graduating, so I went for it.

Tuesday we met the broker and signed the lease. The lease starts Oct. 1 and is only 11 months. (So I should be able to summer sublet it if I need to leave before then). Even the broker made a comment about how nervous I seemed at the signing of the lease. But Mark came along too and that helped when he thought the place looked nice too.

The next 24 hours after the signing has been weird for me. I am kind of in shock, I wanted to do it, but didn't really know if I would actually be able to...and now I have to wait 2.5 weeks to move in to my new place! I am scared, it will be far away from my friends in vet school, but quite frankly I only hang out with them a couple times a year anyways. I kind of felt sick to my stomach for awhile wondering if I had made a mistake since for any left over rotations I have at tufts I will have to commute now, but then I talked to Mark awhile and felt better....he asked me to just list the reasons why I wanted to live closer to Boston, and I talked about how every 2-3 days a week that I drive to Boston from school instead of home even though it is 40 minutes longer, I feel better, I look forward to where I am going, and I feel more connected with Boston then with Grafton. And I can make the drive feel better realizing I have finished most of my cores already and with electives I don't have to be to school until 8am, so I can take the train from Boston to school those days.

I am still scared, and I think I will be until I am living at the new place for a couple weeks, but I will have a lot of friends in Boston too, and will make new ones, and will have a great support network there. I guess now I just want to get it over with and move in already!

ER Vet

Tuesday I started my new ER rotation. Of course, I had to go in at 7am and take care of my leftover neuro patients first...one of my classmates was starting neuro soon and asked how it was...I tried to be optimistic but told her it was the toughest rotation I had done yet. Then she told me that a bunch of my classmates and her were having lunch together the other week and I guess I came up and were all terrified of neuro since they had seen me running around and never leaving the hospital. yeah, I eventually admitted to her that I cried almost every day of that bloody rotation.

Before I go in to the ER details, the weekend before was a three day weekend. I had to work every morning, but only 3-6 hours each day. Mark and his mom and sister and I went to the Italian St. Anthony's festival in Little Italy. Then Sunday I came back and helped Mark move little stuff to his new apartment for 6 hours. The only rough part was when the landlord's wife came back to wax the floors and we had just started unloading the cars and she told us to hurry up, so I ran up and down the two flights of stairs with load after load and wanted to die, but I say that counts for some speed training! We went to a nice dinner, and story of my life, i got a little too drunk. I still can't decide if it was a good or bad thing that I acquired such a taste for beer 2 years ago.

Well Tuesday's ER shift was 10-8. I was terrified, typical deer in the headlights. And yet it went amazingly well. I loved it! I even got out by 9pm and had time to go see Mark at his new place.

Yesterday I was on 1-10, and it was a little more rough since I didn't actually leave until 12:40am. I really like most of the ER people. But there are a few that irk me...I met the first intern that I didn't like yesterday. One of the elective students who is visiting from NC state was overwhelmed with a case she took on. She didn't know how to manage it and get all the paperwork done, so I tried to help her out. Then the intern asked her to go get chest x-rays on the dog, and the girl admitted to me her shift had ended over an hour earlier. I offered to do the x-rays for her, and when she told the intern her shift had been over but I would do the x-rays for her the intern went off on her saying "I know your flight just got in last night, so I will let you go this one time, but I want you to know that this is the exception. Normally we expect you to stay and finish up your case no matter what. Leaving before all the tests and paperwork is not acceptable but I will let you this one time cause I am nice." All I could think is "Nice my ass, there was NO need to raise your voice and reem in to this poor visiting student who just needs to sleep."

Well, trying to be nice, I asked the intern "When does your shift get done?" (At this time it was 9:10pm). "(" she answers. Trying to be nice AGAIN (big mistake) I say "Oh, I am sorry." Well, then she reemed in to ME saying "Well, I am used to it, I never get out of here before 2am. ANd you should get used to it too. When you are on ER you never leave on time. And when you are a real vet, you will never leave at the end of your real shift either. If you think that is the case then you are in the wrong career missy." I sat there and smiled nodding, but all I wanted to say was "No, you listen hear bitch, no one calls me missy, and I think after 6 months of clinics I know better then most of my classmates that you never leave on time, and patient care should come first, but that is NO reason to make others feel like shit and to run around acting like you are god's fucking gift to veterinary medicine." Wow, it feels nice writing that, I really didn't like this intern. Luckily she is the only doctor of the 8 I have met on ER so far that I don't like.

And sure enough I was there 2.75 hours late. But it was ok. Surprisingly, as I drove home at 12:45am, instead of feeling angry at being there late, sure, I was super tired, but I felt quite content. ER is so rewarding. You stabalize some animals, save some lives, sadly send some patients to kitty or doggy heaven, deal with sweetheart as well as nasty bitch clients, but at the end of the day, it is over, and all you can do is smile at all the good work you did as a doctor and look forward to what surprises the next day in the ER will bring. This is great, maybe I can handle an internship.

good news at the end of a bad week

This past week was by far the worst I have dealt with in clinics yet. I cried every day except today. I started thinking bad things like I haven't thought in years. I was getting lots of praise from the doctors, and was reluctant at many times to decline suggestions that I take on more, but deep down I was begging for help. I finally learned how to say no yesterday and told the doctor when he suggested I break the rule on maximum patients allowed for a student to manage (he suggested I take on a couple extra over the limit since I was doing so well and we were so busy) but I told him I thought I would end up jumping off a cliff if I did that, so luckily we have developed a good sense of humor together and said ok.

Then yesterday Mark was trying to be supportive after a tearful phone call every night by coming out to visit me instead of the usual me coming to see him, and I hate to admit it, but I think it was a bad idea. I can be way too needy, and when I am pushed to the limit and brought to tears on a daily basis my neediness goes through the roof. I can't believe Mark did walk out on me and my pathetic antics. I felt horrible, I was so annoying, but hopefully this will be the worst week ever and I won't be that idiot again.

Well, as of today, I have worked 77 hours in the last 5 days, and I still have to work every day of this upcoming three day weekend, but for less hours each day. Luckily, today things got a bit better. I left work at 7:40, the earliest all week. I spoke up for myself during the day. And rather then get upset and turn things inwards on myself, I deep down got angry and bitter, which is still not healthy, but at the end of the day I was not upset and crying, but had energy to go running (and since I finally got home before 9pm I was able to go running too).

Basically today I did my usual, but realized that I would be done with the long hour (15+) days this weekend. Plus Ryan called me and left a message that he has changed his mind and wants to move to Boston asap. We had been flirting with the idea of moving in together in boston this summer, but he was not ready to commit, and I told him if we waited I would want to move before october 1 or after june 1 of next year. Since he has gotten back to me, we have decided he will look hard for places for october 1st in somerville, cambridge, allston, brighton, and brookline. He's already found several affordable places and hopefully we will start viewing places later next week.

Lastly, I had a patient come in late yesterday afternoon. On my PE I heard a heart murmur, and after that I looked through all the dog's medical files and no previous vet ever noted a heart murmur in their physical exams. I told my doctor on the case, and he blew it off. The dog was admitted. After an MRI, the dog had to go home this afternoon. I told my doctor that I wanted to write in the discharges about the heart murmur so the owners knew we heard it, but I was worried since no other vet had heard it the owners might be scared, so I told my doctor I wanted to talk to the owners about it so they knew what it was and what it meant. Suddenly my doctor got nervous, since telling owners their dog has a heart murmur can be a big thing. So he suggested we both listen to the dog again. We did, and he could not hear a heart murmur. I listened again, and heard one, and tried to pass the stethescope to my doctor to show him, but he still could not hear it. He told me "Sorry, Lindsey, I think you are just hearing normal ejection sounds and are making that in to a heart murmur in your head." Naturally I was upset, but for once confident, and tried to argue, no, I think this is a real heart murmur. Slightly condescendingly my doctor suggested "Well. let's have the cardiologist on service today listen and see what she thinks." I was so nervous, and really hoped I was not wrong. We brought the dog over to the cardiologist. She listened, and after 30 seconds stopped and said "Great job, that is a 1 out of 6 heart murmur, the dog problem has early stage chronic valvular disease." (Btw, heart murmurs are ranked 1-6 based on how loud they are, and the 1/6 is the hardest to hear, normally only board certified cardiologists can hear it reliably). I was quite pleased with myself, and Dr. Faissler joked I deserved a gold star for all my amazing skills, and that he would send all his patients over the weekend to me to listen to. It kind of encouraged me again with how much I LOVE cardiology. I think if I ever specialized in some sort of small animal medicine, it would be in cardiology. I really love it, and LOVE heart murmurs. Maybe I can try for a zoo&wildlife residency at the same time as for a cardiology residency, and see what I get.

But most importantly, the last 4 days were some of the worst in my entire vet school career, but now I feel so refreshed and back in control...I hope this lasts, cause if not, I think I might seriously consider going back in to therapy once every two weeks, which is not a bad thing, just something I don't want to have to do if I can help it.

sheer exhaustion

This week has been hell. I have already worked over 60 hours in 4 days. I was warned neuro was tough, and I had bad luck being the only student on. I have never left the hospital before 8:30pm, and get here at 5:30am. No lunch most days. And it doesn't help that the neurologist on the service, known for being the work a holic of the hospital, took pictures of our patient board today because it is the busiest it has been in over 6 months. I broke down in tears in the bathroom after being bitten by one of my patients today. 4 more days to go...I hate this hell.

freaking being a good student is not worth it sometimes...

I just wrote about my horrible ER shifts...I was chatting with some people who work in the ER this week, and even though it is supposed to be random, I did find out that the residents and doctors ask the scheduler to try to put the most responsible students on the 3pm-2am shifts since they end up doing the most on their own. I guess after 10pm there are normally only 1-2 other doctors there, and then the one student on from 3-2, so they like the student who gets the most of those shifts to be one that can handle acting as a doctor on his/her own the best since they might have to if it gets busy and the doctors need to work on other patients. I know I should be flattered, but I am so fucking burnt out that I don't care. I am starting to think it is not worth it to be a great student that people thinks will be a great vet if it means I get next to no sleep and time off. God I hope I have a good 3 weeks on ER.

bitter at the world...

So I know I have had it kind of rough in clinics so far. It feels like at times I have the worst luck being on call (always getting called in during the wee hours of the morning) and I always seem to have 2x the amount of cases that my classmates do, or I always seem to be helping out classmates with their cases cause I work twice as fast as them, or I always end up being the one of 5 student on a rotation that has to take 1-2 more on call shifts then all the others (cause my classmates suck at times and refuse to take the extra shift, and I can't say no if I don't have a legit excuse)...I tell myself that I am just stressed and burned out, that I don't really have bad luck, but then while just talking in passing to classmates when they here my clinics experience so far they all can't help but say "crap lindsey, I am so sorry, you have had it rough." The interns in the ER joke that I have the worst luck for getting called in and working all hours of the morning (followed by a normal work day). The doctors joke that all my patients are sicker then they appear on paper and end up admitted in to the hospital for multiple days after their initial appointment with me.

I have been trying so hard to not let this get to me...I have neurology coming up next week. I just finished a week on cardiology which I loved. This week has been oncology which has been pleasant. But next week is my one week on neurology, and by chance (of course) I happen to be the only student on. There are usually 2-3 students on, since there is a TREMENDOUS case load on neuro...you normally arrive at 6am and are there until 7-8pm with no lunch break. Well, I am on with Dr. Faissler next week, who is hilarious and smart as hell, but is known as the work-aholic of the hospital. My classmates were trying to make me feel better and encourage me that neuro was fun and I would be able to handle the 10 patients I would manage a day, and then I ran in to Shelia, the neurology resident I know since we used to run together. She asked me "Hey Lindsey, what are you up to this weekend?" Me being a dork was excited and thought "Cool, maybe a doctor wants to hang out with me, Sheila is a lot of fun after all." I replied to her "I am on oncology this weekend, so I might be in with patients, not sure yet." Sheila said "Oh, well I wanted to tell you that you should sleep, since you won't be getting any sleep at all next week being the only student on a faissler week." Nice. Way to rub it in.

Then of course next weekend is a three-day weekend with labor day. Mark is moving in to his new apartment, so since it is a holiday (treated like a weekend at school) I was hoping to head over to his place after my neuro patients were taken care of, hopefully around 12-1pm...then I got the email this past week from Dr. Cotter, the head of all medicine rotation. "Hi Lindsey, I am not sure if this is good news or bad news, but we forgot that Labor Day was the week of your neuro rotation, and since you are on and we don't want to over burden the medicine students with extra treatment shifts, we assigned you to the 8-5 treatment shift in the wards." Not sure if it is good or bad news?! Do you think I want to spend another fucking 9 hours in that god-forsaken hospital!? Shoot me now, seriously....

Ok, so I was telling my roommate JM all this trying hard not to get upset as she was saying over and over "wow Lindsey, you really have the worst luck of anyone I have ever talked to on clinics, I am sorry." I said "Eh, I am not saying it is bad luck, I am sure it is like this for others, I will survive." I think I was trying hard to stay sane saying that...then I go in to my room and check my email, and there is my bloody schedule for ER, which I am on for the first 3 weeks of september.

There are 5 of us students in my calss on the rotation toegether. The ER has a set 5 schedules set up for three week student blocks, and they supposedly assign them randomly...one student always gets the "Shitty" schedules...and guess who that fucking is?! yup! I have 3 weeks of ER, and only one 7am-6pm shift. The rest are all noon-10pm or 3pm-2am shifts...seriously? WTF?!! I have SEVEN 3pm-2am shifts, and of my four classmates the one who comes closest only has THREE! My weekends are shot. I have NO weekend days off, and all of my classmates have at least one. You get one day off a week on ER, but of course every day I have off I am on until either 10pm or 2am the night before, so I will not be able to go out at all and enjoy the night before my days off...and to top it all off, my last three days fri-sun before I start at Angell memorial in Boston, are 3pm-2am shifts, so I get to work until 2am on Sunday and then take a 6am train in to Boston on Monday...I am SO fucking livid and bitter right now. I need a break SO fucking bad. Thank god I have elective and vacation for 6 weeks after my ER rotation.

what a party

My birthday party was a little more low key then usual, but I was quite pleased. Heather and Denis came with Tina from Montreal, which rocked. Ryan came over early to help me get the grill going. We set up the porch and had a relaxing evening. Barely any guitar hero was played, we all just chilled on the porch, drank our beers, and enjoyed tasty food. It was very mellow. We did end up playing some poker. I was impressed that my liver handled it all. I had 11 beers over the course of the night and was suprisingly not drunk.

The next morning took some effort to get Mark up (I wanted to sleep in too, but we did have guests). We went to breakfast at a cute place in Grafton with Heather and Denis, and then went for a walk through the tufts field with Tina before they left. We had a great time and just relaxed more.

Mark and I spent the day after that continuing to relax. We also got some studying in. It was such a calm weekend for me.

And speaking of mellow, I am in the weirdest mood lately. For about a week lately people have been asking me if I am ok. I am normally so high strung and wired, and people expect annoying enthusiasm and energy from me. I am very happy, but lately very calm. People ask me how things are going and I just smile. I don't have a lot of energy to waste time going in to the details of clinics, etc. I just feel calm and mellow lately, it is not a bad thing at all, it is just not my usual self.

Well, I am on cardiology all this week, and so far I am LOVING it.

birthday fun

I had a great birthday. I had to get up REALLY early on my birthday, thursday, to get to work in NH by 6:30 (meaning I got up at 4:30). Work was easy and short, and I got out REALLY early. Since I had handled a patient with scabies and because I had some homework for work the next day, I drove home at 2pm. Good thing too cause I was able to put the dozen roses on my porch from Mark for my bday inside in a vase : ) .

Then I drove out to Christina's place. I met her new dog Winston, an adorable shih tzu mix who is fun, but does have some behavioral issues that I think will be easy for them to work out. I drove Christina and I in to Sunset Bar and Grill in Allston to meet Ryan. We had some yummy dinner, I was planning on only having 1 beer since I was driving and had to get up at 5am for work the next day. I had told Mark he was welcome to come, but knew he was busy, and he had his soccer league that night, so figuered it would just be me and my friends. After dinner we were paying the bill and out of nowhere Mark appeared and joined our table. I was so surprised and pleased, I couldn't stop smiling. So rather then head out we went upstairs for a round of pool (which I hate and am terrible at, but tried hard to enjoy just cause I enjoy spending time with my friends). We had some interesting conversations about flirting and then about boobs, which of course lead to a discussion of my perfect boobs, and I was quite flattered when Mark starting complimenting all parts of my body.

We left a little after 9pm. I drove Christina home, and then went over to Mark's. He had a birthday present for me, and it was nothing too extravagant, but it was one of the kindest gifts anyone had gotten me. Long story I guess. I love to read and I love my dvd collection, but most of the time people don't know my taste, or if they do they accidentally buy me something I already bought myself. Well, I don't expect or want people to buy me gifts anyways, I would rather spend time with my friends. But Mark bought me the book "Water for Elephants", a book that all my friends have recommended to me and I have wanted to read, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. It was just amazing to me since I have never told Mark I wanted to read the book, and I am sure he has not looked at my collection so for all he could of known I might of already had it. So again, it does not seem like that big of a deal to most people, but it meant a lot to me, and I felt really lucky to have this incredible guy in my life that was able to know enough about me that he could find a simple and thoughtful gift like that.

"the shortest break up ever"

4 days...I tried hard to do the right things, and so did Mark, and after only 4 days apart we decided to get back together and try again. I am not sure how things will work out in the future, but am not worried in the least. I feel really good about this, and think we are getting better at communicating and being honest every day. But I did find it hilarious that Mark's mom commented when she found out "well that was the shortest break up ever."

some back tracking: Littleton Animal Hospital

I spent the last two weeks at The Littleton Animal Hospital for my core rotation of practice environment. Candy had recommended it to me because they see a lot of exotics. It was a nice change...a bit more of a commute though. It was a 40 minute drive from my house. I was working 9-5 Monday through Friday, with a 1.5 hour lunch break almost every day. It was great. I saw TONS of exotics. Lots of birds, guinea pigs, rabbits, etc. I esp. loved the birds and guinea pigs, and twice almost adopted a bird, but luckily my self restraint is good and I resisted.

The beginning of the first week started out a little rough, cause I think the techs were testing me and treating me a bit like a child, but I must of proved myself within a couple days since they started treating me with much more respect and allowing me to do certain things. At the end of my first week I actually got to perform a rabbit dental!

It was overall a great experience, and I got to see a lot of the issues you see in private practice that you don't see at a place like tufts, mainly the money factor. It was sad, but money was often a huge contributing factor in whether or not n animal would get the care it needed or continue to suffer, or even be euthanized.

And of course most of you probably already know, I don't really want to write about it, but I will just say that Mark and I broke up. It was really hard at first, esp. with the timing and the circumstances, but I am amazed by my resilience and that within a couple days I already feel stronger and like I have grown in to a more mature person because of it. I am proud that I am making the right choices, and more importantly I am extremely lucky to have some of the most amazing, caring, and smart friends ever who were there to help ease the heart break and give great advice. I am not sure where things will go with that part of my life in the future, but I know I have made some good choices in the last couple days and will be proud of myself no matter how things turn out.

good times in Albany

I have some serious back-logging to do on this blog, but before I chat about the previous two weeks, I can't help but write about my awesome time in Albany so far.

It's my first visit home in almost 6 months. I can't believe that being initially depressed about my break up made me hesitate about wanting to visit my friends, and I am so glad I got over it quickly so that I was able to enjoy my time with these amazing people.

I got home and saw my mom for the first time in ages. She looks great. She started dating a couple months ago, which was weird for me at first, but I am happy for her too. She is now exclusively seeing this one guy, a vascular surgeon named Ben. She finds it hard to stop talking about how incredible he is. And I think dating and having a boyriend has really been great for my mom. She has lost 25 pounds, and the house is the cleanest and least cluttered I have ever seen it.

Sadly, I wish my brother was in a better state. He drove me to Bombers where I was going to meet my friends, and even though I offered to pay for his dinner if he came out with us, he declined. He's been drinking and smoking more, but amazingly getting straight A's in school. He was very argumentative, and when I tried to talk to him about my last week with Mark, he told me to shut up and he didn't want to hear about it. He said he was sick of hearing about guy troubles or good times from mom and I since he was having no such luck at all with the opposite sex. I was really worried about him and mentioned it to my friends at dinner, but Erik told me not to worry, since most young men go through a period where they are bitter and angry at the world, and that he would grow out of it. Luckily my ride home with my brother was better, he was in a cheerier mood. He joked and told me all sorts of silly stories about him getting to drunk, or being the life of a party. He got a little sad again when we got home, so I just reiterated my previous feelings that his friends are great, but family will always be there, and if you can be friends with your family as well as I think my brother and I are friends he should take advantage of that. I told him I didn't want him to hesitate if he ever needed to call or needed some help or support, and he thanked me and said he knew that.

Well, then there is my friends. I was sad that some of them didn't come out, but I often think they don't cause they have not gotten as far with their lives as they wanted to so far and they sometimes feel embarrassed since I have been so successful. But who did come?

Erik is doing GREAT! He brought his girlfriend Jen. She was very nice, and at first i wasn't sure if Erik and her had a lot in common since she is going in to marketing, but we are already friends on facebook and I can see so many similarities between them now, I am so happy for them. Erik finished his masters, it is a short story. he is going to send it my way, cause amazingly it was inspired by me a bit. I guess his cap-sizing nightmare on our kayaking trip really inspired a lot of it, and he also goes in to animal rights and individuality. I can't wait to read it.

I saw Zach, actually an ex from high school. He is back with Sarah, now a vet at shaker. They are doing well, and he seemed to be the happiest and most stable I have ever seen him.

And Greg, my old vegan metal band friend from undergrad came. He is doing well. He really is a life long learner and I feel like he just stays in school to keep learning, but he works at various jobs and is in the army too to avoid any student loans. He is so smart and had some great words of wisdom for me with regards to my relationship situation. He is hoping to go to law school soon through the army and work for the UN.

So that was my first night. Still have lunch with the family toady too. It was great. And I went for a 7 mile run today. I forgot how hilly the area I currently run in back home is, and how flat Albany is. I felt like I was flying on my run, clocking some 7 minute miles.

meet the parents take two

So mark's dad is retired and is loving it. They own a beach house in Orchard beach Maine and now that his dad is retired he spends the entire summer there with the family dog Penny. His dad really wanted me to come up to meet him, so Mark convinced me last weekend. I was on call Saturday from 8am until 8am on Sunday, so we left first thing Sunday morning. It was actually only a 2.5 hour drive form my place (less then to NYC).

Mark's family dog, penny, is a beagle-shepard cross. The whole family adores her and talks so highly of her. But I think Mark was a little worried since I guess she is scared of strangers at first. Mark kept warning me how she would probably growl a little at me and hide behind Mark for awhile, and might not be interested in me since Mark was there. I told him not to worry, and that just cause I was a vet student didn't mean I expected every animal to naturally love me.

Well, I had to laugh, since Penny came barreling down the driveway to see Mark, and I ignored her since most of the time scared dogs like that. She sniffed my hand some and didn't growl, but didn't seem to care about my presence either. But sure enough, we got in the house and sat around the table, and when penny checked me out I rubbed just right behind her ear or something, since she suddenly jumped up on my lap and was super sweet. She kept seeking my affection all morning and leaned against me like I was part of the family, which the family all thought was quite interesting and not common. Mark made a comment that "She is such a smart dog and she will remember you forever now." I just smirked and said "Glad I passed the test, I guess I am a keeper."

Mark's dad was an interesting character. His mom came up to see us too. We walked up the beach a couple miles and then back through town. It was windy but nice. And of course they all wanted traditional Maine lobster for dinner, but Mark's mom was so sweet and brought up stuff to make stuffed peppers and sweet potatoes for me. Sadly, even though Mark was the one who wanted me to meet all his family, he and his dad don;t get along that well, so Mark got stressed for what I felt like was no reason. When it came time to go get the lobsters, Mark's dad wanted me to see the town so bad, but Mark had had enough of his dad, and Mark bailed last minute (to sneak to the corner store and buy some cigarettes), leaving me to go on a 30 minute car drive through town with just his dad, and his dad was so pleased to show off the lobster fisherman and store where we got the lobster. As I gazed in to that sad full tank of poor lobsters that I just wanted to set free. I kept biting my lip and telling myself in my head "I am the best girlfriend ever". Mark was right though, his dad is SUPER opinionated, and I knew better then to start some philosophical arguments, although there were many opportunities for that and I continuously pinched myself to force out a smile and pray the subject would get changed.

All and all though, it was fun. His family is very nice, and his dog is great (I might be dog sitting her for his family when they go to seattle later this month to visit Mark's older brother).

77 hours in 6 bloody days...

I hate to complain so much, but I need to. And I hope at some point in the future I will be able to reflect on this blog, so I am going to try to get all my conflicted feelings out in it. Since Sunday at 4pm I have worked 77 hours...between Sunady 8am and Weds. 8 am I got a total of 13 hours of sleep...and I am fucking bitter as hell. Bitter about having to work so much, bitter about being slave labor sometimes, bitter that my classmates don't have such horrible luck, and bitter that I am expected to grin and bear it, even enjoy it. I have been on anesthesia for the last two weeks, and while i have learned a lot and loved the people in the department, I am sick, fucking sick, of the insane hours.

Sometimes I wonder if I just am not as hard working as I thought and maybe I just can't handle working as much as I thought, even though in the past my friends and family have always been amazed by how much I can handle. Then I realize my classmates are handling it better then me cause on average they are working 10 hours less then me...since on this rotation so far I have had the WORST luck on call...I ALWAYS get called in until 4am, and then have to work the next day like usual from 7am until 7pm, or longer. My classmates, the techs, even the doctors have all commented that I have the worst luck and always get emergencies while on call and have worked longer hours then everyone else. I try to appear pleasant on the outside, but inside I am bitter and angry and miserable...I broke down in tears 4 times on Wednesday (only once in front of someone, poor Mark had to be the comforting boyfriend).

And all of this has made me start to question what I want to do after graduation. I have realized that while I used to be able to handle working this many hours on things, I have never before been forced to "put all my eggs in one basket", and before clinics I always had the choice to drop things even if I never did...now I am forced to work these hours for school, and have no time for other things in my life, just clinics.

I originally thought I would do an internship after school, ideally in a zoo setting although I know with my grades it would be a miracle if I got a zoo internship, so I figured I would end up at a place like Angell in Boston, and then might do a two year residency to be certified in avian and small mammal medicine. But doing an internship means another year of working insane hours like clinics, while getting paid shit and having to defer paying off student loans for a year.

Speaking of loans, I wonder what is the best way to pay them off. I want to go in to zoo or wildlife medicine, but there is not a lot of pay there, so I figured I would have to do some private practice or something different to make some money. If I ultimately want to go back in to academia (which I think I do) an internship is a good idea, though not required. Also, there is a lot of money in emergency medicine, even if you are not certified, and if you do an internship almost any hospital will hire you as an experienced ER doctor since your internship is 80% ER work...you work 3-4 days a week, 12-15 hour days, but have at least 3 days off a week, and make between 100-150 grand. I've thought of that as a way to pay off loans in 3-4 years, but then would have to do an internship

Then there is private practice. I know why I didn't want to go that route before, and still feel the same if the place was like shaker vet, but if I could find somewhere I liked the staff, etc., it is appealing thinking of a job that is a 4-5 day work week, time off for vacation and CE, great benefits, great pay...I see the draw. Clinics has created the appeal in me.
But most of all I do not want to be over worked like I am now. I need time off for myself. Sure, I am active, and my time off is normally spent doing things, from running marathons, to kayaking, to being involved in research, etc., but I need that variety to stay sane, and I want to enjoy going to work everyday. Right now I am so fucking busy at work I never seem to take the time, nor do I even think to, to stop and bond with some of the amazing animals I work with. I just need to keep running to keep up. It's not fair, to me or the animals.

Ok, that's it for now...except a pet peeve of mine...don't you hate people that always think they do more work then anyone else? Even if they see on paper someone else is working more then them they complain or comment on how much work they have done. And if you start to complain they tell you to suck it up since "we knew clinics would be like this"...or people who don't know how to say thank you, but instead just act like you didn't do anything to help them and that now they have so much work to do after...yeah, being on anesthesia with a classmate like that is tough.

nyc time #2

it's been awhile since I have written...mainly because I started anesthesia this past week, and damn it is rough. The hours are roughly 7am until 6:30pm with a half hour lunch break. The kicker is you are either on call or on late every other day...if on call I could get paged in any time from 7pm until 8am the next day, or on the weekends it goes from 8am until 8am the next day. My first night on call, Monday, I got home at 6pm, showered, and was called back in at 6:15 and was there until 1am, got home at 1:30am and had to get back up at 6am to go back in for the day. If late, you stay to wrap up the last surgeries of the day, normally until 7-8pm. I was on late Wednesday and was there until 8pm. At least I am learning a lot, but it is SO tiring. I am already counting don until I move on to the next rotation. 2 more weeks.

But I did work hard and managed to get off friday and saturday this week. I landed some red sox vs. yankees tickets on stubhub for mark and I (making me the best girlfriend ever) and we headed in to the city friday morning for our fourth of july game.
It was supposed to rain, but it just stayed overcast until we got to the park. Mark wore a red sox shirt, which it quickly became apparent was nOT a good idea. A group of yankees fans in front of us started calling him "Harry Potter Senior". And this asshole group behind us started bothering me calling me and him a loser, and telling me I needed to break up with him. They were really aggressive about it. Then in the 7th inning it started raining and all I had was my two umbrellas, but they were yellow with dogs or purple. Mark choose to open the purple one and the jeers started again, about massachusetts being all gay, and how mark had no manhood. It was obnoxious, and even though Mark tried to be a good sport you could tell he was getting pissed. We ducked out since the red sox were winning 6 to 3 in the 7th, and made a good choice since ten minutes later everyone left when they ended the game because of the rain.
Sadly Mark was Mr. Grumpy after that, and he needed a nap, so we went back to the car and he napped while I went in search of food (which was actually tough since so many places were closed for the fourth). We were thinking of meeting Izzy and some friends for fireworks in brooklyn, but then a huge thunderstorm came through, so we decided to pack up and leave.

On the ride home Mark got in his head he wanted to stop at Foxwoods. I did not but was happy to accommodate him, so we went and I slept in the car. The good news was it brought back Mark's good mood when he won $110 in poker. We didn't get home until 4am, but it meant we were able to be lazy and sleep in doing mostly nothing all Saturday. We had dinner and watched a movie, but I was a little sad I was not able to convince Mark to stay one more night, I think after 2.5 days with mehe was starting to O.D. on Lindsey. And sadly I am on call starting in 15 minute for the next 24 hours : ( . Something tells me I will be in the hospital a lot today, but oh well.

meet the parents

This past weekend I was supposed to go strawberry picking with Christina, Pete, and Ryan. Mark couldn't come cause his brother was in town from Arizona, and while I wanted to meet him, I promised Christina I would go picking with her (and was looking forward to strawberry pie after). Well, the weather was gorgeous, but an hour before we were supposed to leave Christina called me with some bad news...she had called the farm before leaving and found out it was closed for the next three days cause the picking had been so good all week they had run out of strawberries for people to pick!
I was bummed, but I was able to call Mark and tell him I was free to meet his brother : )
So at 5pm I headed in to Somerville and was glad my first family member of Mark's that I would meet would be a sibling. We went out for a drink to watch the red sox win in extra innings, which was fun, but at the end of it Mark had to bring his brother back to his parents house, and I was asked if I wanted to come along and meet his mom...needless to say I was excited but nervous.
Well, his house was beautiful, in a very nice (and might I add it looked quite rich) neighborhood. His mom was nervous too I guess, and she was super sweet, but I wasn't able to ask her much since she talked the whole time. She had made a beautiful salad for us, which of course even though they have experience with vegans, had feta cheese in it. I tried to be a good sport and ate a handful after picking out the feta. But after only an hour Mark was exhausted (we had had a fun filled weekend after all) and we left, so it was a quick encounter, but I am looking forward to meeting more of his family and his mom again in the future. They even have a piano in the house, so if I ever go back there I will be sure to bring some sheet music and practice some.
I just want to add that I have never been with someone before who is SO good at picking up on my stupid issues and girl problems. I actually am growing up too and am trying to talk about my emotion rather then hide them like most girls and try to make Mark read my mind. But I have realized a lot of my issues are not girl issues, but OCD issues, some remnants of my old habits...habits is the perfect word afterall. Mark is right, I am VERY set in my ways, I want everything to happen like clockwork, I have a tough time doing things in the ritualistic fashion that I do them every night. And Mark has not only noticed this, but when I apologize and say I am sorry for my bad traits, I should try to change them, at which point Mark says they are not bad traits, just personality traits that make me who I am that I should not try to fix, just be more open to when people suggest things other then my rituals. I feel so lucky now.

NYC weekend trip : )

Part of me is always torn when I write these blogs, I know I don't write anything bad about people so I don't care who reads them...but sometimes I have such great experiences with Mark I want to write about them, but I don't want to share "too much". Plus I never know how much he reads it anyways, but oh well....I have had an amazing two weeks, so I am going to share. : )

Radiology is fucking amazing. It is called radiation vacation because the hours are great, and it is true. Not only are the hours great, but the entire department is staffed by incredible techs and doctors, and they really love to teach! At least 4 hours of every day are set aside specifically for learning...the profs or techs teach us protocols or procedures, or review ultrasounds, MRIs, CTs, and x-rays with us to help us learn, by putting us in the hot seat, which isn't that bad. Basically they will put up a set of x-rays, give you a brief history (like 8 year old spayed female golden retriever with 2 week history of intermittent vomitting and increased drinking) and then you are supposed to find anything wrong with the animal on the x-rays. They are not mean at all if you miss things, but I have actually found I have a lot more knowledge then I realized. 90% of the tim I find all the problems on the radiographs!

Then the sweet part of the deal is your day on radiology starts at 8am, and is done by 5:30 pm at the latest, sometimes earlier, plus you get an hour or more lunch break EVERY day. You work 2-3 weekend days from 10-5 out of 6 possible days (of course I got stuck with 3, while 3 of my classmates only have to work 2). But still, this is amazing.

So that meant last weekend was my first entire weekend off in god knows how long. So Mark and I made plans to go on a weekend trip to NYC. We were going to try to go to the MOMA in the morning, followed by a yankees game in the afternoon, then dinner, then head home on Saturday. Despite feeling like my weekend of fun and relaxation was going to crumble multiple times, it worked out incredibly well, I had a blast, and Mark was such an amazing boyfriend, I felt so lucky.

Things got a little fishy when my friend Christina, whom I had promised to go strawberry picking with in June when she picked a date, said she was going on Sunday at 11am. Mark and I still hadn't decided whether or not we wanted to stay overnight saturday or not, but rather then miss out on what I promised to go to, we decided to just go to NYC for saturday. Then a couple days before Mark was invited to one of his good friend's bday parties in boston on Saturday night, which we both wanted to go to, but I quite frankly didn't want to cut any of my NYC trip short to go back to boston, only to have to get up super early sunday to take the train back home at 7am so I could make it to strawberry picking in time. We decided to try to make it to the party, but would play it by ear.

We left for NYC at 6:45am hoping to get there by 10:30. We were there on time, but parking was tough to find. We finally found affordable parking ($12 for the day) but by then it was 11:30, and the yankees game started at 1pm, and we didn;t have tickets yet since mark wanted to try to scalp them, so with a heavy sigh from me we abandoned the moma and headed to yankee stadium. Mark asked a woman on the street for a nice place to eat, and she recommended a hip brunch place, where we went, but there was nothing for me to eat, and no where else around was open, so I suffered through without food. The good thing was Mark could see I was bummed, and I finally got over being a stupid girl and told him I didn't want to rush back home to boston to hang out with his friends who we could see any other weekend, which I felt terribly guilty admitting, but am so glad I did (btw, I REALLY like these friends, but it just seemed to be cutting in to my weekend). He wasn't mad at all and said we would still play it by ear.

So we get to yankee stadium, the weather is gorgeous, the crowd is thick, and naturally they had sold out. So there was no scalping to be found. Mark thought it would be easy since it was for him in seattle, but there was nothing under $75 a ticket, so after an hour outside the stadium we gave up...disappointment #2. : (
On a good note, Mark said we had time to see the moma, so we went. Of course, Mark was SO tired by the time we got there and just wanted to leave, but he was such a good sport and made me laugh a lot making fun of certain art and me, but it was seriously hilarious and cute. We went to central park at 4pm where he just wanted to lay down in the shade and relax, so we napped for an hour. At 5pm we decided to get moving. Mark wanted to go home to Boston for the party still, which was fine, but I did want dinner. I told him I thought we could either leave then and go back to boston, or go for dinner since i had not eaten since 7am that morning. He wanted dinner too, and I knew of a vegan pizza place 20 blocks away from our car, but I warned him it would add a lot of walking to our schedule. He didn't see a problem with that, so we went. Another disappointment was my pizza, despite looking great, tasting crappy...however the restaurant had banana-chocolate cheesecake, so I got a piece. I gave Mark and bite and we both thought it was heavenly so we jokingly fought over it on the long walk back to the car. I drove most of the way home, and even as Mark talked on the phone to his mom and brother he thought we would go to Boston for the party, but finally at 10pm when we were still almost 2 hours form home he realized it was not a good idea to go in to Boston, get there at 12:30 and go to the party for 30 minutes. So we went to my place and crashed instead.

It really was too short of a trip with many little disappointments and flaws, but we both had an amazing time. Funny. We promised each other to plan it better next time (i am trying to get online tickets to the red sox vs. yankees game in a couple weeks online now), but it wAs so relaxing and fun...and I couldn't help think the same thing as I overheard Mark tell his mom and brother on the phone how he had such a great time in NYC.

IDK LOL

My generation uses various AIM speak way too much...like lol, ttyl, idk, lmao, wtf, omg, etc. etc.
Then on top of it, if you go in to a medical profession the use of these types of abbreviations is WAY too abused. We were discussing it yesterday in ultraosund as we tried to figure out what "STS" as the history and problem meant (turns out it was soft tissue sarcoma). Medical professionals love to abbreviate things and use these codes in their medical records a lot. Most of the time it is easy for us medical people to figure out what they are referring to, but in my opinion it wouldn't hurt to put it in parantheses the first time and then use the acronym. Especially when it could have multiple meanings.
Here are some of the more common abbreviations we use in veterinary medicine (and many are used in human med too). Can you guess what they all stand for?
HBC
DOA
PLN (there are multiple meanings for this one)
EENT
DKA
LSA
ADR
ABD
PNST
UG
SF
CM
CRF
ARF
HL
PSS (two meanings again)
NMA
NSR
NSA
RE/RR

Have fun, I am curious to see people's responses and what they think these things stand for! please comment away!

my calming mechanism

I never thought I would be a runner, but somehow I have become one since I started vet school. It has become how I stay sane. Everyone has something (or at least they should have something) that helps them relax, rejuvenate, recharge, etc. Running has become that for me. Sure, there are lots of moments when I want it to be over, like those 10 degree runs with the wind in my face freezing my snot in February, or those 90 degree runs in July where I fantasize about trespassing and taking a dive in to some stranger's pool at mile 8, or best of all at the top of a hill in January, on my way down, feeling great, then spotting the 30 foot patch of black ice covering every inch of road only 10 feet away. But all in all I love running, and I feel more refreshed then anything after a good run. I also have some really amazing moments on my runs. You think A LOT when you run for more then 8 miles at a time, since it guarantees you will be on the road for over an hour. I listen to my ipod nano too, but my mind wanders. I can reflect on things. I can fantiasize about things, a common fantasy involves running by some huge house with lots of land for sale and I begin dreaming about winning the lottery and buying a house like that. Or good mental imagery and imagining running a race like the boston marathon at my fastest speed yet.

Then there are weird moments like what happened yesterday, things that I don't expect but that keep me smiling or laughing or feeling touched and lucky and connected with the world that last a while, as long as they need to until the next event.

It's been hot lately, so yesterday I decided to run at 5am and avoid the 90 degree weather. Of course it was already 80 degrees at 5am, but that is besides the point. It was 6:10, and I was finishing up my 8 mile run, only a mile from home. I was on this refreshing down hill stretch when I heard something in the woods across the street. I thought it was a rabbit and figured at my quick pace there was no point in trying to spot it cause they are so small and fast and hide in the bushes, but the noise persisted for a second longer and sounded loud so I looked over. There was a deer bounding over some logs parallel to the road, not looking at me. I scanned the woods for other deers and she looked alone. I am also an incredible dork and even though I know animals do no understand english, I always seem to talk to them, esp. when alone on a run...so I said in a regular voice "Hey beautiful." and expected the deer to hear me and dash off full speed. Instead the deer turned its head towards me, and bounded over to the side of the road near me. I was so amazed, and although my momentum was pulling me down the hill, I stopped. The deer stopped on the opposite side of the road from me, about 15 feet from me. He shook his head, and I noticed too little antler buds and realized my mistake. I said "I am sorry, I meant you were handsome, not beautiful." The deer and I continued to look at each other for another 3 seconds, and then he turned, so I turned and started running down the rest of my hill. He also ran, but stayed along the edge of the road bounding through the woods parallel to me for another 20-30 feet or so before he decided to run back in to the woods, which was weird considering I expected him to run away from me. I couldn't keep my eyes from him. I continued my run, but for the last 8 minutes or so before I got home he was all I could think about, I know it was weird and some coincidence or some explanation for his un-deer like behavior, but it was an incredible moment for me, and another reason why I would never give up running as long as I have legs and my health (and not having legs won't make me stop either, those runners with prosthetic limbs in runners world are inspirational). I just wish that everyone could find those amazing moments or that perfect hobby that makes them clear their mind and feel at peace with the world.